I'm an expert at falling flat (it is at this point when I suddenly realize what a weird phrase "falling flat" is and wonder why it isn't "falling flatly" because that's how it's starting to sound to me). This website is, in fact, a monument to flat-falling. I don't think there's anyone in human history who does falling flat as exceptionally well as I.

There I go again, with the attempts. See how flat I fell there? That's just a tiny little sample of my post-gaffe two-dimensionality.

Anyway, site. Intro, bio, everything else is up, to the left, and presumably self-explanatory.

Actually, it probably isn't. I strongly suggest you start with the intro. Just so you, you know, know what you're getting into. Um. Really. See what I did there in the last sentence, when I repeated two words twice each in a row? It's that kind of cunning wordplay in this site. Yeah. I know. Amazing, isn't it?

Ordinarily, I'd say "maybe you should run the other way and forget you ever saw this thing at this point," but that's just too self-consciously self-deprecating for me to be able to actually upload it and continue to live with myself. Anyway, complaints, sorrow, and accolades can be directed at the e-mail address to the left, or via comments on the blogs you'll find here.

Go with God.